The Boy Who Cried Madness, by Zander Blackula

The Boy Who Cried Madness

by Zander Blackula

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1.	These Days 00:27	download
2.	Timid 05:03	download
3.	A Song About Her 04:06	download
4.	I Heard Your Voice Tonight 02:11	download
5.	At Night I Lie Awake 05:20	download
6.	Am I Enough? 05:10	download
7.	Choices 01:41	download
8.	Make Believer 04:02	download
9.	Solemn 01:16	download
10.	Disillusions 03:25	download
11.	Yesterday 04:55	download
12.	Vespertine 02:00	download
13.	Sundowner 01:49	download
14.	Distant 01:44	download
15.	Paradise Lost 03:59	download
16.	Lonelysong 05:42	download
17.	Nights 01:51	download
18.	Sanpaku 04:07	download
19.	Anxiety 02:43	download
20.	Let Me Down 01:23	download
21.	Numb 02:08	download
22.	Contemplating 02:42	download
23.	Assisted Suicide 05:13	download
24.	Deafening Silence 01:43	download
25.	Moonlit Star Wish 06:05	download
26.	Please Forgive Me, Please Forget Me 05:30	download
27.	4 Walled Prison 02:47	download
28.	One More Day Like Today 08:24	download
29.	Trouble 01:00	download
30.	Jet Black Night 03:47	download
31.	Sunday Drive 02:52	download
32.	The End 06:28	download
33.	Absolution and Appectance 02:43	download
34.	The Boy Who Cried Madness 12:17	download

about

To Whoever It May Concern,

If you're reading this, it happened. I'm sorry if you're shocked and disappointed but it was gonna happen one day and I had to stop running from it. THESE DAYS, it's hard to a TIMID guy. Assertiveness gets you places in life, but if you grew up stagnant, you're bound to stay in the same places unless you get drug, kicking and screaming. Nothing was ever questioned. Nothing was ever wondered. A SONG ABOUT HER comes on and I want to call and say "I HEARD YOUR VOICE TONIGHT", but AT NIGHT, I LIE AWAKE and think to myself "AM I ENOUGH?" I hold myself accountable to all this promises I intend to keep but steady testing the breaking points due to my poor CHOICES. But the world won't miss another MAKE BELIEVER. Staying in his SOLEMN, basking in his DISILLUSIONS, both remembering in nostalgic wonder but also trying to block out YESTERDAY. Praying for VESPERTINE because the days are just too much. I took on the name SUNDOWNER. A DISTANT fellow with a few hours of peace to his name. Dreaming up a PARADISE LOST, singing his LONLEYSONG. (turn on Side 2)

NIGHTS offer comfort but tack on more fear and woe. The eyes that were once full of joy are dull and tired. I tried to blame the superstition SANPAKU, but everyone blames my ANXIETY. And I can't blame them. No matter how many times people have LET ME DOWN, no matter how long I've been NUMB due to another or my own devices, no matter how many times I've caught myself CONTEMPLATING ASSISTED SUICIDE, I still go on. DEAFENING SILENCE, toxic love, abashed affections, I live in a dreamland of contradictions. I made a MOONLIT STAR WISH. To cease. For what to cease? Who knows anymore? But PLEASE FORGIVE ME, PLEASE FORGET ME. I've been trapped in this 4 WALLED PRISON, waiting on ONE MORE DAY LIKE TODAY. I knew TROUBLE was coming on one JET BLACK NIGHT. So after writing this, I'll take one last SUNDAY DRIVE before I obtain my ABSOLUTION AND ACCEPTANCE. If you cared enough to read this note all the way through, know now I have nothing more to say. I don't think I can say anymore than I already have. No sorries can fix what I broke, no changed behavior can rewrite time, no amount of distancing and blocking can heal the scars I made. So it's time I had to do what had to be done. The music I left will do the talking for me from here on out.

Sincerely and Always Yours,
THE BOY WHO CRIED MADNESS

credits

released March 16, 2019

Zander Blackula for everything

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about

BlackulaZ64

An internet, anime, video game, and music obsessed nerd with too much free time that is dedicated to making the best music I can, whether that'd be chillwave, vaporwave, or alt rap, and spilling my heart and soul in my lyrics. I make all my music unless stated otherwise. ... more

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